PopTop
06-11-2003, 05:41 PM
With all the time I've been spending here lately, I've missed a lot of important stuff going on in the world these days.
Picked up a Weekly World News today at lunch with my little godson, and you wouldn't believe some of this.
COVER STORY
------->Merman Caught In South Pacific
Dateline Bougainville, Solomon Islands: "A fisherman hunting for gray snapper in the South Pacific made the catch of the millennium when he snared a real-life merman in his net."
Complete with photos, the story goes on to detail the little fellow "about 28 inches long, has a distinctly human face and torso - attached to a fish-like lower body" ... "It sports a shaggy white mane some have likened to boxing impresario Don King"
The fisherman who caught it is Brazilian Carlos Di Santos, and he claimed when he hauled his net up the merman tried to attack him with his sharp claws and was screeching the whole time ... "To protect my own life, I struck him in the back of the head with a boat hook. I sure didn't mean to kill the thing, but I did."
Dr. Roger Burke, an Australian marine biologist, authenticated the remains and described the legends and myths surrounding these little creatures ... "It's posisble that people who bear the family name Merman, like the late singer Ethel Merman, may be descendants of interspecies unions." :eek:
Dr. Burke adds, "It's impossible for me to believe there's only one down there. There could be tens of thousands. The ocean is a very big place."
Ok, you really should see the photos ... If you look closely you can see the ridges that often accompany plastic toys not precisely trimmed when they come out of their molds ... And you can almost read "Hecho en Mexico" on the side of the thing ... Also, how many marine biologists would say, "The ocean is a very big place" :hmm: ... It does look a little like Don King, though
Also, I've never heard of gray snapper, anyone else?
There's also a story about "thrill seeking European teenagers" smoking cow poop to get high ... "When I smoke the dung I feel stronger and smarter, I am ready to face the world," says Jan Vandermeer of Amsterdam ... Hmm, wonder if he's kinned to Johnny Vander Meer who threw the back-to-back no-hitters ... And if he is, was Johnny puffing poop when he pitched those no-no's?
------->Hard-up Sheik Wants To Sell His Harem On e-Bay
Dateline Doha, Qatar: "Shiek Mohammed Abdullah al-Wakeel, who admits he squandered the bulk of his $450 million inheritance gambling in Monaco over the past decade, is putting all 200 ladies in his harem up for sale to the highest bidder."
Says al-Wakeel, "These girls are more than just a harem. They're like family to me...They are practically virgins"
The story goes on to describe a few of the sheik's favorite gals:
Taheera: 38D-24-36 "with a smile that lights up the room"
Ammena: Petite "with a pair of buttocks that can crack a walnut"
Saajida: Sultry, slim with long raven hair, "a good listener"
Naadia & Naadira: Pouty lipped twins who "do everything together"
Ok, far too many spots to crack wise in this story, so let me hit the high points ... First, it ain't Taheera's smile that's lighting up the room, it's her headlights ... Secondly, if Ameena can really crack walnuts with her backside, the dude shuold hold on to her and start selling tickets, he'll be out of debt in a month just selling the video and DVD rights ... My guess is all of them are good listeners since he's the only one doing the talking ... If he wants a high bidder, he should contact that poop-bonging freak in Amsterdam ... As for the pouty lipped twins, hubba-hubba!
More to come as I read on ... I just can't let this news go by without sharing it with my Addicts pals.
Picked up a Weekly World News today at lunch with my little godson, and you wouldn't believe some of this.
COVER STORY
------->Merman Caught In South Pacific
Dateline Bougainville, Solomon Islands: "A fisherman hunting for gray snapper in the South Pacific made the catch of the millennium when he snared a real-life merman in his net."
Complete with photos, the story goes on to detail the little fellow "about 28 inches long, has a distinctly human face and torso - attached to a fish-like lower body" ... "It sports a shaggy white mane some have likened to boxing impresario Don King"
The fisherman who caught it is Brazilian Carlos Di Santos, and he claimed when he hauled his net up the merman tried to attack him with his sharp claws and was screeching the whole time ... "To protect my own life, I struck him in the back of the head with a boat hook. I sure didn't mean to kill the thing, but I did."
Dr. Roger Burke, an Australian marine biologist, authenticated the remains and described the legends and myths surrounding these little creatures ... "It's posisble that people who bear the family name Merman, like the late singer Ethel Merman, may be descendants of interspecies unions." :eek:
Dr. Burke adds, "It's impossible for me to believe there's only one down there. There could be tens of thousands. The ocean is a very big place."
Ok, you really should see the photos ... If you look closely you can see the ridges that often accompany plastic toys not precisely trimmed when they come out of their molds ... And you can almost read "Hecho en Mexico" on the side of the thing ... Also, how many marine biologists would say, "The ocean is a very big place" :hmm: ... It does look a little like Don King, though
Also, I've never heard of gray snapper, anyone else?
There's also a story about "thrill seeking European teenagers" smoking cow poop to get high ... "When I smoke the dung I feel stronger and smarter, I am ready to face the world," says Jan Vandermeer of Amsterdam ... Hmm, wonder if he's kinned to Johnny Vander Meer who threw the back-to-back no-hitters ... And if he is, was Johnny puffing poop when he pitched those no-no's?
------->Hard-up Sheik Wants To Sell His Harem On e-Bay
Dateline Doha, Qatar: "Shiek Mohammed Abdullah al-Wakeel, who admits he squandered the bulk of his $450 million inheritance gambling in Monaco over the past decade, is putting all 200 ladies in his harem up for sale to the highest bidder."
Says al-Wakeel, "These girls are more than just a harem. They're like family to me...They are practically virgins"
The story goes on to describe a few of the sheik's favorite gals:
Taheera: 38D-24-36 "with a smile that lights up the room"
Ammena: Petite "with a pair of buttocks that can crack a walnut"
Saajida: Sultry, slim with long raven hair, "a good listener"
Naadia & Naadira: Pouty lipped twins who "do everything together"
Ok, far too many spots to crack wise in this story, so let me hit the high points ... First, it ain't Taheera's smile that's lighting up the room, it's her headlights ... Secondly, if Ameena can really crack walnuts with her backside, the dude shuold hold on to her and start selling tickets, he'll be out of debt in a month just selling the video and DVD rights ... My guess is all of them are good listeners since he's the only one doing the talking ... If he wants a high bidder, he should contact that poop-bonging freak in Amsterdam ... As for the pouty lipped twins, hubba-hubba!
More to come as I read on ... I just can't let this news go by without sharing it with my Addicts pals.