Baseball Guru
06-30-2001, 09:01 PM
Yankee Stamps
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Yankee Fans on a Bike
Q: If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: There's a good chance it's your bicycle.
Yankee fans and Sperm
Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Yankees in the Sand
Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Dead Dog and a Yankee Fan
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Birth Control
Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Two Bullets...
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Yankees fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Yankees Fan.......Twice!
Money saving tip for Yankees fans
rather than waste more money on yet another replica hat, simply strap a large rubber ***** to your head. It'll be perfectly obvious to everyone who you support.
New York Fans on a Bridge
Q: A Yankee fan and a Jet fan jump off of a bridge. Who falls first?
A: Who cares!?
Eyes lit up
Q: How do you get a Yankee fans eyes to light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear!
Driving with a Yankee fan
Q: Why is it good to be driving with a Yankee fan?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!
Big Foot and a Yankee fan
Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a smart Yankee fan?
A: Big Foot has been cited before!
Yankee's quick humor
Q: How do you make a Yankee fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday!
Fax from a Yankee fan
Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Yankee fans on your computer
Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan has been using your computer?
A: There is whiteout on your screen!
Steinbrenner is lying?
Q: How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying?
A: His lips are moving!
Yankees marketing department
Q: What's the biggest challenge for the Yankees marketing department?
A: Literacy!
Yankees players showering
Q: Why don't Yankees players shower after home games?
A: Becuase veryone will just assume it's the city that stinks!
Chuck Knoblauch and Michael Jackson
Q: What do Chuck Knoblauch and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both wear a glove for no aparent reason!
Paul O'Neill in High School
Paul O'Neill is trying to graduate high school. His teacher says if you solve this math problem, you can graduate: What is 14-3? Paulie says 9, and the rest of the Yankees say, "give him another chance, give him another chance!" So the teacher says "Okay, what is 7+7?" Paulie says 10. The team members say "give him another chance!" The teacher says, "OK, what is 3x3?" Paulie says 9, and the rest of the Yankees say "give him another chance, give him another chance!"
Baseball Fans
Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked man with breasts lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead man out of respect and to cover his private parts until the cops arrive.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over his left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on his right breast and the third fan places his Yankees cap on his pubic area.
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found his naked and covered him up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body. He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However, when he lifted the Yankees cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Yankees cap once again and stared for a long time.
As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking at the man's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Yankees cap."
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill For a bit of hanky panky Jill
came back With a very sore crack Jack must have been a Yankee
Sitting on a stool
Q: How do you get four Yankees to sit on a stool?
A: Turn it upside down!
------------------
"Man may penetrate the outer reaches of the universe, he may solve the very secret of eternity itself, but for me, the ultimate human experience is to witness the flawless execution of a hit-and-run."
LETS GO METS!!!
HELP BE AN ADDICT AND CLICK ON AN AD!!
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Yankee Fans on a Bike
Q: If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: There's a good chance it's your bicycle.
Yankee fans and Sperm
Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Yankees in the Sand
Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Dead Dog and a Yankee Fan
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Birth Control
Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Two Bullets...
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Yankees fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Yankees Fan.......Twice!
Money saving tip for Yankees fans
rather than waste more money on yet another replica hat, simply strap a large rubber ***** to your head. It'll be perfectly obvious to everyone who you support.
New York Fans on a Bridge
Q: A Yankee fan and a Jet fan jump off of a bridge. Who falls first?
A: Who cares!?
Eyes lit up
Q: How do you get a Yankee fans eyes to light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear!
Driving with a Yankee fan
Q: Why is it good to be driving with a Yankee fan?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!
Big Foot and a Yankee fan
Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a smart Yankee fan?
A: Big Foot has been cited before!
Yankee's quick humor
Q: How do you make a Yankee fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday!
Fax from a Yankee fan
Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Yankee fans on your computer
Q: How can you tell if a Yankee fan has been using your computer?
A: There is whiteout on your screen!
Steinbrenner is lying?
Q: How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying?
A: His lips are moving!
Yankees marketing department
Q: What's the biggest challenge for the Yankees marketing department?
A: Literacy!
Yankees players showering
Q: Why don't Yankees players shower after home games?
A: Becuase veryone will just assume it's the city that stinks!
Chuck Knoblauch and Michael Jackson
Q: What do Chuck Knoblauch and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both wear a glove for no aparent reason!
Paul O'Neill in High School
Paul O'Neill is trying to graduate high school. His teacher says if you solve this math problem, you can graduate: What is 14-3? Paulie says 9, and the rest of the Yankees say, "give him another chance, give him another chance!" So the teacher says "Okay, what is 7+7?" Paulie says 10. The team members say "give him another chance!" The teacher says, "OK, what is 3x3?" Paulie says 9, and the rest of the Yankees say "give him another chance, give him another chance!"
Baseball Fans
Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked man with breasts lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead man out of respect and to cover his private parts until the cops arrive.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over his left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on his right breast and the third fan places his Yankees cap on his pubic area.
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found his naked and covered him up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body. He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However, when he lifted the Yankees cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Yankees cap once again and stared for a long time.
As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking at the man's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Yankees cap."
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill For a bit of hanky panky Jill
came back With a very sore crack Jack must have been a Yankee
Sitting on a stool
Q: How do you get four Yankees to sit on a stool?
A: Turn it upside down!
------------------
"Man may penetrate the outer reaches of the universe, he may solve the very secret of eternity itself, but for me, the ultimate human experience is to witness the flawless execution of a hit-and-run."
LETS GO METS!!!
HELP BE AN ADDICT AND CLICK ON AN AD!!