Why do women settle for less???

[metmagic]

So another one of my girlfriends calls me up with yet another frustrating story about her guy treating her not-so-well (emotionally unavailable, forgetful, takes her for granted, etc)....

*sigh* http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/rolleyes.gif it's so f-n obvious that she is WAY TOO GOOD for him!! but why why why do women settle for less????? WHY????? can somebody tell me??? why does it seem like women are always giving 110% and men....50% or so.... http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/rolleyes.gif

it just pisses me off........ http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/mad.gif


(btw, think crusha would have a cow if he saw this thread?? http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif)

------------------

[moe22]

I have no idea what the answer to that question is (well the one about crusha I know..yes he would be pissed. lol) but sometimes I wish that I would settle for less. I'm still looking for Mr. Right and how likely is it that I'm gonna find him? Probably not very likely.

I think it may be in our nature though. Most woman are just more thoughtful, caring, generous in relationships than men. Why? I don't know. It seems that in the beginning of a relationship both the guy and the girl are out to somewhat impress each other. You just want that person to see all of your good qualities so that they'll continue to date you, so that by the time you get into that "comfortable" stage, the person will like you so much that little annoying habits you have will seem microscopic. By the time you really know the person you're with, 99% of the time you're already in a serious relationship and sometimes it's hard to let go of that.

------------------

[metmagic]

NO moe!! Don't settle for less!!

You will SO find your Mr. Right!! Trust me!! (but first, you may wanna get your ass outta fluffy california... you're too COOL and REAL for that place!!) Your Mr. Right is searching and waiting for you right here in Brooklyn yo!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------

[moe22]

I sure do hope I find Mr. Right, Cyn! If he's in Brooklyn can you mail him over? lol

Guess what, though? I'm already planning and saving so that I can go to NY next summer, si dios quiere. http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------

[metmagic]

AWESOME!!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif

maybe you & james can plan it so that you guys can visit at the same time!! (oh, should we throw PD in the mix??? THAT would be interesting, to say the least!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/eek.gif )


....and as soon as i meet your Mr. Right, i will fed-ex him ASAP!!! overnight delivery!! (though i think YOU should come HERE!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif)

------------------

[pdaj]

It's not always the women settling.

Hell, there's this dude Colin who posts here (does anyone know him?), and from what he's told me, he's got a loser woman.

Poor fella. http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/wink.gif

------------------
If you can't handle a joke, than take the kiss my @ss literally..

[Piazza'sbabe]

Because we suffer from moments of temp insanity?

------------------
Queen of SCV and the Gutter Gang
Shea Faithful!!
:):) Good Vibes :):) in memory of MzMet

[Yankee 21]

I think that maybe we just think that if we hang in there long enough with the guy, he'll see how wonderful we are and change.
I was in a "relationship", if you could call it that for 11 years! He told me that once we were together for 10 years he'd marry me. Guess what, didn't happen, Thank God! He basically came over once a week to get laid. Believe me, nothing worth waiting a week for! I finally realized that he was my security blanket, not my boyfriend and dumped him for good. Once again, Thank God! I really gave up after that and then along came Bobby and I don't know what I'd do without him.
So, don't drive yourself crazy about Mr. Right. He'll find you, or you'll find him or you'll just find each other, but IT WILL HAPPEN. So for the time being, have fun with Mr. Wrong! When the time is right--Along will come Mr. Right!

------------------
IN A PERFECT WORLD--WE'D ALL BE YANKEES

[Jimbo21]

Q: Why are there so few men that are caring, appreciative, loving, and good looking available?

A: Those men already have boyfriends...

OK, just kidding. I wondered that question for many of my 45 years and have come to the conclusion that if the same women that complained about these ingrates would stoop about half a level and take on a guy that wasn't quite as nice to look at, they would be happier in the long run.

------------------
.:Jimbo21:.

[Baseball Guru]

Originally posted by pdaj:
It's not always the women settling.

Hell, there's this dude Colin who posts here (does anyone know him?), and from what he's told me, he's got a loser woman.

Poor fella. http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/wink.gif



Oh, that is so cold http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif



------------------
"Man may penetrate the outer reaches of the universe, he may solve the very secret of eternity itself, but for me, the ultimate human experience is to witness the flawless execution of a hit-and-run."

LETS GO METS!!!

HELP BE AN ADDICT AND CLICK ON AN AD!!

[Nymet31]

Let me tell you a little story:

When I was 16 I met this guy I thought he was the best thing in the world. He was a little older then me and would do anything in the world for me. after dating for 6 months we were sitting around watching TV and got into a "friendly" arguement so I thought out of nowhere he punched me straight across the face! I was shocked! I couldn't believe that my great guy did that!! Everyone I knew told me what a g reat guy I had and I would be insane to lose him!
being so young I didn't know any better and I stayed in that abusive relationship for a year longer until he dumped me! I must say that I was so depressed and hurt that almost every relationship after that was a joke. i went for the wrong guys all the time! After years of bad relationships this great hard working, caring man found me. Of course i didn't want the good man I wanted the bad ones! after a year of this guy asking me out and standing by side as a great friend I finally broke down and went out on a date with him! To end this story were getting married in Nov. of this year!!!

The moral of this story is There are great men out there!!!

------------------
Kathleen
I'm trying to believe

[Yankee 21]

see guys, listen to us! The right guy will come along, just be patient!

------------------
IN A PERFECT WORLD--WE'D ALL BE YANKEES

[moe22]

Very lovely stories. I'm glad that things turned out well for the both of you! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif
I think my Mr. Right is lost in the woods somewhere, though. http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/wink.gif hehe

I have a really nice story, too. It's about my aunt. Well, for as long as I could remember, ever since I was little, she was dating this guy. First off, I didn't like him at all. I mean, I was 6 years old when I met him and I didn't like him!! I just had the worst feeling about him. Anyways, they were together for the LONGEST time. I think I was 14 or 15 when they finally got married. (I still didn't like him by the way.) But he made my aunt happy so I never said anything. Well...get this. A week after they came back from their honeymoon he suddendly tells her "I don't think I love you anymore. I made a mistake." Just like that!! Suffice it to say that my aunt was distraught, depressed, did NOT want to date again. I was PISSED off at that jerk. I haven't seen him since the wedding, but if I were to ever see him...oooohhh..he better run the other way!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/mad.gif
ANYWAYS...about 2-3 years after that incident my aunt was taking her lunch break and she normally walks to a restaurant the same way everytime (she lives in SF), but they had some sort of construction going on so she had to go another route. She was even taking her lunch break at a later hour cause she had to work late. Well as she was walking, she heard her name being called and she turned and there, sitting outside of this pizza place, was this guy she had dated many, many, many years ago. They got to talking and yup...months went by and one thing led to another and now they're married and HAPPILY in love!! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/smile.gif http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif It was fate!!

And yup, I like this guy. http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/biggrin.gif He has my stamp of approval! http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/smile.gif

------------------

[Nymet31]

This topic is turning into "Love stories", but I have another one. This is about my Brother and Sis in law!

My sister in law got a physic reading for her b day one year the physic told her you are dating a guy now , but that will not work out. You'll meet another guy and that will not turn out. Then you'll get sick from a child and when your better you'll be set up with your "soulmate"
2 weeks after that her boyfriend broke up with her http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/frown.gif. then she was set up on a blind date by her cousin that turned out horrible!! soon after that she came down with the Chicked pox!!! after that her cousin wanted to set her up angain with a guy, but my Sis in law was like NOOO Way!!! Well afew weeks went by and she had to go too a wedding so she let her cousin set her up! That guy was my brother!!! They've been married for 6 years and have two adorable boys!!!

------------------
Kathleen
I'm trying to believe

[imgreat95]

i think that a lot of times, men and women alike settle for less out of fear. Fear of never finding the "perfect" person leads them to grab the "closest" thing they can find.

One mistake i think that people make is that they look for someone who is exactly like them as a mate. I think that this is where they make their mistake. Would a person ever wear to left shoes? I think not. They would wear a left one and a right one because they are a match. Is a left shoe and a right shoe exactly the same? NO! They are very simlar in a lot of ways, but they do have a couple of VERY important differences without which there would be no such thing as comfort.


I know 2 people who the girl chased after the guy through 5 years of college. He kept saying "no" again and again. Then she graduated a semester before him. After she was gone from his life, he realized that she was "The One" and a year and a half later they were married.
What happened? Ted stepped back and took a look at his life and what was now missing in it. He realized that it was karen who had helped to fill a huge empty space in his life.
I think that at times we have to step back and take a look at our lives for a while before we can be truly happy in ANY kind of a relationship.

Ok.. I am done with my incoherent babble.

------------------
Ninety feet between bases is the closest to perfection that man has yet achieved.

***************
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

[moe22]

Nope, it's not incoherent. I think you hit the nail right on the head. Most times what makes us settle for less is flat-out fear. Fear of finding someone new, fear of rejection from someone else, and most often, fear of being alone.

------------------

[amazinmets]

Unfortunately, I don't have a heartwarmins story to add of my own, but if any of you read either dear Abby or Ann Landers, one of them did a series of "how we met" letters. Some of them were so romantic that like the sap I am, I had tears in my eyes. Especially the ones circa WWII. It really gives you hope http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/smile.gif

------------------

[RockieBill]

I'm guilty as sin to all charges leveled (what is 'emotionally unavailable'?)! It isn't that someone is too good for someone else, because there is someone for everybody. People just make bad choices. Hormones are the culprit. Believe me, I used to be young once.

Not all guys are assholes. Women put some pretty unrealistic expectations on guys, and it's just not gonna happen. I've never had a bad personal relationship with anybody, guy or gal (do not go there!). If any kind of dissention can be sensed on any level, I just do not associate with that person.

I'm very lucky with the way my life has played out. I met the girl of my dreams when I was seven years old (she was five), and we both knew it at the time. It was never an issue with us as to whom we were going to spend the rest of our lives with. I doubt that there are two people that know each other as well as we do, and with that comes a familiarity that is so comfortable, so welcome, that nothing could possibly come between us. I know that this somewhat of a cliche, but you should be like two spoons in the drawer, fitting together perfectly and nearly inseperable. If that is not the case, then you're in for a rough ride.

While my wife doesn't particularly care for baseball, she was at every game during my little league and high school years , and some of the best times of our lives were spent at Bears' Stadium, watching the minor league scrubs go at it. For my part, I've spent countless boring hours at Denver Philharmonic performances and other social functions that are so unlike me, but that is the price you pay to be with the person you love. It is a give and take thing, and hopefully you give more than you take. We'll celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary in a few months, and neither one of us regret a single minute of it.

And, as Jimbo pointed out, you might drop the bar a peg or two. If you're not Julia Roberts, don't expect Brad Pitt (or Tom Cruise, or Nick Cage, or Mike Piazza, et al) to beat your door down. If you, yourself, are emotionally stable, you could give a rats' ass if someone else is emotionally unavailable. Live your life without a net. That way, if you do fall and someone catches you, you know you've found a friend.

Camera one closes in,
the soundtract starts,
the scene begins...you're playing you now..., the Josh Joplin Group

------------------

[amazinmets]

Originally posted by RockieBill:
Live your life without a net. That way, if you do fall and someone catches you, you know you've found a friend.


That's beautifully said Bill. I think you have a lot of valid points http://forum.addictsports.com/baseball/ubb/smile.gif



------------------

[imgreat95]

who are all the weirdos in this thread?? :D

[Durango53]

Why are none of the pics showing up on this for me?!?!?:notme:

[imgreat95]

durango, on a lot of the old threads here, that happens. It is because the codes for some smilies are no longer in existence as well as the fact that some smilies have gone kaput since then.

[PopTop]

So, how'd it all turn out Magic? Did your girlfriend ever find a guy she could whip into shape? I've always looked at relationships between men and women as being like a schizo who is having this intense struggle to maintain their sanity. Sometimes it's due to one or the other personalities involved just being a real creep, and sometimes it's just that gals and guys are so opposite each other (emotionally, physically, philosophically) that you just have to fight it out and really make an effort to keep the relationship alive ... The easy part is keeping the love and the sex going (well, it's easy for me :eek: :D ) ... The tough part is figuring out a way to remain friends even through the toughest arguments and disagreements ... That's why I give standing o's to any couple I see that's made it 20, 25 years or more.

And how about that blast from the past by Rockie Bill: A Josh Joplin fan (great CD!) and a confession that he used to be young! :laughing

[metmagic]

OMIGOD!! :eek: this was 3 years ago!! :eek: i'm afraid to go back and read the posts.......

[imgreat95]

this was the first actually in depth post here at addicts. :D

[metmagic]

i still haven't read it... i'm afraid :D i see mariela and purva on this page... who else is here?? tell me before i go ahead and read :D

[RockieBill]

Originally posted by PopTop
...And how about that blast from the past by Rockie Bill: A Josh Joplin fan (great CD!) and a confession that he used to be young! :laughing

Haha - this must have been back in my drinking days - glad they're over! ;)

What happened to Josh Joplin - haven't heard of him since :umm

And even dirt used to be young - I've seen it! :D

[imgreat95]

Jimbo.. mariela.. purva... paul... lots of names which havent been seen in a while.

Anyone know what happened to Purva??? The rest I know about.... but not her.

[caughtstealing]

i could probably tell you about the colin guy but the story isnt what u expected but i think hes living on a boat somewhere.........

[imgreat95]

Wow... and the old names just keep on popping up.


How goes it, Colin?

[caughtstealing]

im good, hoping 2004 will be better than 2003 that year sucked for me, and is still following me in this year.............

[~*TiGeRs f@N*~]

Originally posted by caughtstealing
hoping 2004 will be better than 2003 that year sucked for me, and is still following me in this year.............

same here :(