The Poetry Thread

[Sandy]

Since I love doing song parodies (and I'm obviously not the only one around here who does), I figured I'd start a poetry thread to give a common place for people to share their creative muse.

(to the tune of Gilligan's Island)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of an awful skip
His name is Jimy Williams and
He manages like s**t

The fate of his teams are all the same
This Skipper's dumb for sure
He always ends up 2nd best
Why not show him the door ... please show him the door

The schedule started getting rough
We pleaded with his boss
If not for the moron with the lineup card
The season will be lost, the season will be lost

The team lost ground despite a trade to try and light a spark
with Biggio, and Bagwell too,
The Millionaires and Brad Lidge
The Rocket Man, Andy Pettitte and Lance Berkman
Here in Minute Maid park

[PissedPrincess]

:clap:

[barzilla]

Good stuff.

[Astro Annie]

Nice.

[PissedPrincess]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale......
of an underachieving team.............
they charge the highest prices .....
AND they make you vent and scream........ :bonehead

The fate of this team was sealed when they......
hired this lame duck skip..........
Who plays all of his sub-par guys.......
instead of guys who hit.....instead of guys who hit.....

The season started getting rough........
all men were left on base.............
if only Skip would let them bunt.......
it wouldn't be such a disgrace.........wouldn't be such a DISGRACE

The team lost ground despite the Yankees losing 5 of 6...........
with Pedro AND Curt Schilling too..............
the headcase Lowe and Ortiz........
with Manny's swing.....
Damon's speed and .OBP.....
BLOW IT UP AND GET PICKS!!!!!!!!!! :bonehead

[Sandy]

Just the first verse - will take awhile to complete this one.

[With apologies to Don McLean]

A long long time ago
I can still remember how
Jeff Bagwell used to make me smile
And I knew if Bags got to bat
That he would give the plate a pat
And send that gopher flying out with style

But now it seems he can't deliver
His throwing motion gives me shivers
His average is in trouble
His homers are now doubles
I can't remember if I cried
When his OPS began to slide
But though I really like the guy
These days I hide my eyes

(Chorus)
So bye, bye to our killer 'B' guys
Should be cruisin', but we're losing like we don't even try
The manager's a moron and we can't stop our slide
Singin' "It's time for Jimy Williams to die."
It's time to get rid of that guy.

Does Jim write the lineup card
And do you have faith he'll soon get tarred
So the stat sheet tells me so
Now, do you believe he's on cocaine
'Cause nothing I know can explain
And, how soon will it be before he goes

Well we used to win with Larry D.
And four of five seemed good to me
We kicked him out the door
Now it's second place for sure

He is a lonely moron, with no luck
With a strange fixation to ensure we suck
But I knew Houston was so f***ed
The day that he was hired

And so we're singin' (chorus)

[Astro Annie]

Ooooh!

[barzilla]

Sandy,

You got something good going there.

[PopTop]

:yikes:
Seriously, this might be the greatest stuff ever posted in this Forum. Excellent stuff, Sandy, excellent!

[Sandy]

I've added the second verse above. Thanks for the kudos all.

[Toy Cannon]

:thumbsup: :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

[barzilla]

Set to the tune Get Back

Jimy was a man who thought he was a winner but he knew it couldn't last
Jimy left his home in Boston, MA for the land of laid back fans
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged (your couch)
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged
Get Jimy......(funky piano)

Well Uncle Drayton postered and thought he was a good one but he was another scrooge
All the fans around said he's got it coming but they buy more seven dollar booze
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged (Temple)
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged
Get back Drayton, your groceries are waiting for you
With phantom losses, a lowball payroll, get back home Drayton

Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged

[PissedPrincess]

He doesn't know when to hold em...know when to pull em...
Know when to walk to the mound......
Know when to run....

He doesn't warm his bullpen, when his starter's getting hammered.....
They'll be time enough for warming....when the game is done. :bonehead

[PissedPrincess]

OBP

OBP it turns into LOB

I'm telling ya OBP, LOB, that's how we make PP cry now....

:whistle:

(Keep singing chorus)

[Toy Cannon]

Under the gun
The manager who now has us down
Under the gun
The manager who is a clown

It's down to Hun
The difference is the moves he makes
Down to Hun, a change must come
He's under the gun

Under the gun
A squirmmin' dog who just made a move
Under the gun
A man who's never in a groove

It's down to Hun, yes it is
The way he does the things he does
Down to Hun, a change must come
He's under the gun

Under the gun
A poor excuse for a man
Under the gun
He's the dumbest in the land

It's down to Hun
The way he decides when faced with choice
Down to Hun, a change must come
He's under the gun

Under the gun
His reasons are kept to himself
Under the gun
It's time to look for someone else

It's down to Hun
It's time to pull the plug
Down to Hun, a change must come
He's under the gun

[barzilla]

Good one there Dale. Clearly the charts have spoken.

[PopTop]

(Keep singing chorus)

:rotf:

This is really some great stuff. I'm not even going to try and top any of it! :thumbsup:

[Astro Annie]

You take the starter out
if he's down by a run or two
When his pitch count gets
up around one-hundred two
While the bullpen throws gophers
Our hitters are 0-fers

You've lost that winnin' feeling
Woh-oh that winnin' feeling
You've lost that winnin' feeling and its gone, gone, gone
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

You never track the count
so our guy never reaches base
And you may have seen
that our team's heading toward last place
I don't mean to be ragging
But you make me feel like gagging

[Astro Annie]

.500 Ball (to the tune of "500 Miles")

Before Opening Day
We thought they'd go all the way
But it seems that they just play .500 ball
.500 ball
.500 ball
.500 ball
.500 ball
But it seems that they just play .500 ball

Lord they're five, Lord they're six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
Lord they're ten-and-a-half games behind the Cards
Behind the Cards
Behind the Cards
Behind the Cards
Behind the Cards
Lord they're ten-and-a-half games behind the Cards

Some say if they play it hard
They might get the wild card
But there are eight teams to beat to get that spot
To get that spot
To get that spot
To get that spot
To get that spot
There are eight teams to beat to get that spot

Before Opening Day
We thought they'd go all the way
Now we see that they just play .500 ball.