Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

[GaryMrMets]

Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

[GaryMrMets]

Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving but Aren't

10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."

3. "It's Cool Whip time!"

2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

. . and the number one thing that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving but isn't . .

1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

[GaryMrMets]

A Thanksgiving Poem

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned -
The dark meat and white
But I fought the temptation
With all of my might.

Tossing and turning
With anticipation
The thought of a snack
Became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge,
Full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey
And buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots,
Beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling
So plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden,
I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling,
Floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding
And a handful of pie.

But, I managed to yell
As I soared past the trees....
Happy eating to all -
Pass the cranberries, please.

May your stuffing be tasty,
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy
Have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious
May your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off of your thighs.

[GaryMrMets]

Random Thanksgiving tidbits:

Thanksgiving is observed on the fourth Thursday in November.
2006: Thu, Nov 23
2007: Thu, Nov 22
2008: Thu, Nov 27

Not until 1941, did congress declare Thanksgiving as a national holiday.

The average person consumes 4500 calories on Thanksgiving Day.

Much to be thankful for
The Pilgrims first harvest in the fall of 1621 was bountiful. They celebrated the harvest with the Indians that helped them survive. The feast lasted for 3 days.

Might need it again
Every President since Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day. But in 1939, 1940, and 1941 Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed Thanksgiving the third Thursday in November to lengthen the holiday shopping season. This upset people.

Love waiting for Santa
The first parade in 1924 was called the "Macy's Christmas Day Parade" although it took place on Thanksgiving Day. Santa Claus has ended the parade every year except 1933, the only year in which he led the parade.