Jokes

[Baseball Guru]

Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson and Jason Giambi were on the team charter flying back to Kennedy Airport after losing to the Tigers.

Arod looked at Johnson, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

The Big Unit shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Giambi added, "Big freaking deal, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

They all broke out in laughter and considered how amusing they all were.

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 10 million people very happy." :laff:

[Baseball Guru]

A teacher asks her students who in the class are Yankees' fans. Wanting to impress the teacher everyone in the class raises their hand, except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because Im not a Yankees' fan", she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you're not a Yankees' fan then who are you a fan of?"

"I'm a Mets' fan and proud of it", Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears.

"Janie why are you a Mets fan?"

"Cuz my mom and dad are both Mets' fans, so I'm a Mets fan too!"

"Well", said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Mets' fan. You dont have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron what would you be then?"

"Then", Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees' fan." ;)

[PopTop]

12-year-old Jeff Maier reached out and caught a fly ball at the Yankees-Orioles game, causing Baltimore to lose the first game of the playoffs.

This means that Maier has already caught more fly balls than the entire Mets outfield.

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Two Dodgers fans walk into Chavez Ravine after the fourth inning and they hear a fan say, "The score is nothing-nothing."

"Oh, good," one of them says, "then we haven't missed a thing."

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Did you hear the sad news?

Bill Buckner tried to kill himself the other day by jumping in front of a bus. Luckily it went right through his legs.

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Did you know that Edgar Renteria is Spanish for Bill Buckner?

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I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the world series. Kinda' like the Cubs.

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It was so foggy in San Francisco today that the Giants couldn't even see who was beating them.

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This couple just recently got a divorce and they decided to move away from each other and go there separate ways. So, the father sat down and talked with his son and he said "Son, I think that it is best that you go and live with your mother." The kid said "No, I won't because she beats me." Then, the mother came in and talked to the son, "I think it is best that you go and live with your father" "NO NO," he replied, "He beats me." So then, both the parents sat down and said to their son, "Well if we both beat you, then who do you want to live with?" The son said, "The Red Sox. They can't beat anyone."

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Well, it's time for the All-Star game again.

Or as the Tigers call it, baseball fantasy camp.

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Why is it so hot at Phillies games?

Because there's not a fan in the place.


Don't go away fans, I'm here all week :Pimp

[Royce]

Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson and Jason Giambi were on the team charter flying back to Kennedy Airport after losing to the Tigers.

Arod looked at Johnson, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

The Big Unit shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Giambi added, "Big freaking deal, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

They all broke out in laughter and considered how amusing they all were.

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 10 million people very happy." :laff:


Just Giambi and RJ would make me pleased. :D

[PopTop]

And I should also throw one in that I first heard as an Aggie joke but will now change over to an Astros chuckle...


Two good ol' boys down in Houston had tickets to see the Astros at the Astrodome years ago, but their only mode of transportation was a camel. Since they really wanted to see the game, they mounted up and rode the one-humper to the park, paid their parking fee and tied the camel up to a light pole.

It was a great game, with Houston actually scoring a run or two, and the boys got pretty well marinated on Dome Foam. Just their luck, while they were inside the park the circus arrived for shows at the AstroArena next door, and they unloaded their two dozen camels and tied them to the same light pole.

When the Texans came out after the game, they were confounded by all the camels that were there and couldn't tell any of them apart.

"Bubba," asked one of them, "what in tarnations are we gonna' do now."

"No problem, Billy Bob," Bubba replied and then went to each camel and starting looking under their tails.

"Bubba, have you lost your mind? What are you a' doing?"

"I know how to tell our camel from all the rest, Billy Bob," Bubba said.

"How's that?" asked Billy Bob.

"Well, didn't you hear that feller who took our parkin' money say, 'Look at those two assholes on the camel?'"

[Sheafaithful]

Why was 6 afraid of 7?









Because 7 8 9

Okay so maybe it only works if said aloud....

[GaryMrMets]

Q: How many Yankees does it takes to screw in a light bulb.
A: None. If Steinbrenner owns the light bulbs they’re already screwed.