Sunni Girl
10-23-2006, 02:37 PM
Thought I'd share this...
Carlos at the Bat
By Steve Hofstetter (http://www.myspace.com/comedy)
SportsIllustrated.com
10/23/06
The outlook was delightful for the Flushing Nine that day
They'd tied it up three games a piece with one still left to play
The Cardinals, Mets, the LCS, a chance at pennant glory
But I'll rewind a bit for now and tell the background story
Mets fans were happy, coming in, and boy they had good reason
Their team rolled through the Grapefruit League, then rolled right through the season.
But with Pedro out and Duque gone, they realized their worst fears
They backed into October as banged up as Britney Spears
But the Mets looked tough, these playoffs, after sweeping up the Dodgers
Despite a pitching staff as lame as '90s Kenny Rogers
They took Game 1 right from the Cards, the Cards then took two more
Before the Mets could plate a dozen runners in Game Four
With Glavine on just three days rest, Game 5 would be a battle
But rains came down, and down, and down (the field looked like Seattle)
Game 1 saw Glavine pitch a gem, Tom looked like vintage Seaver
But Game 5 would be different as he couldn't outpitch Weaver
Perhaps with too much rest, the bats dozed off and lost Game 5.
Though the next day they woke up and took Game 6 to stay alive.
The Mets now had a chance to win, a chance at baseball heaven
To face the Tigers in Detroit (if they could win Game 7
The Cards threw Suppan, easy choice, but on the other hand
The Mets rotation held with packing tape and rubber bands
Perez went for the Metsies, he'd won three and lost 13
His 6-5-5 earned runs per game, the highest baseball's seen
Perhaps he had adrenaline, or did it just because
Perhaps he had amnesia and forgot just who he was
With hopes and dreams of fans and all his teammates on the line
Whatever spurred on Oliver; Perez? He pitched just fine.
When Ollie left the mound and gave his manager the ball
The seventh game was knotted up, the score was still 1-all
Two Cardinal runs erased when Chavez flew like he was Wendy
His leaping catch insured that inning six came to an Endy
And tied it stood in inning nine, a Heilman strike-palooza
Their bats, his balls got on as well as Rolen and La Russa
But then a sudden silence fell across the Shea arena
The tie was gone; a two run blast by Yadier Molina.
Was this the end? Could this be it? Were World Champ dreams now crushed?
The Amazins mazed? The Mets been Met? The boys from Flushing, flushed?
With three outs left, could they still find a weakness to explot?
The one rare time the promised land could be known as "Detroit"?
Jose led off the ninth -- a hit! And Endy echoed hit!
But Cliff limped off the field with called strike three now in the mitt
And Reyes didn't fare so well, now two out and two on
With all the hopes of coming back to win now all but gone
But wait, Lo Duca walked! Potential winning run! Crowd roaring!
(I'm not the first to notice that man's excellent at scoring)
The bases juiced, but two men out -- It's not exactly easy
But if anyone could bring them home, his name's Carlos Beltreezie
You could hear it in the stands and you could hear it in the booth
In October vs the Cardinals, Beltran may as well be Ruth.
Like picking up an ace of spades with four kings in your hand
Unless a royal flush comes up, we go to Disneyland
The Hall of Science, Tennis Center, Unisphere are dark
No Botanics in the Garden, and no Terrace on the Park
In St. Louis, men are laughing. In Detroit, the children shout,
But there is no joy in Flushing -- mighty Carlos soon struck out.
Yet this isn't where the story ends, not even close or near
Like the Dodgers did before them, now the Mets wait til next year
If the Cards were hurt, and not the Mets, we'd be 1969ing.
They'd be back home in Missouri, hearing more of Albert's whining.
I will say it here in print and I will say it next aloud
The Mets battled, scraped, and fought, and played, and lost -- and made me proud.
With a healthy staff and confidence, they'll wrestle for a ring
Two-thousand-six was fun, Two-thousand-seven starts this spring.
Carlos at the Bat
By Steve Hofstetter (http://www.myspace.com/comedy)
SportsIllustrated.com
10/23/06
The outlook was delightful for the Flushing Nine that day
They'd tied it up three games a piece with one still left to play
The Cardinals, Mets, the LCS, a chance at pennant glory
But I'll rewind a bit for now and tell the background story
Mets fans were happy, coming in, and boy they had good reason
Their team rolled through the Grapefruit League, then rolled right through the season.
But with Pedro out and Duque gone, they realized their worst fears
They backed into October as banged up as Britney Spears
But the Mets looked tough, these playoffs, after sweeping up the Dodgers
Despite a pitching staff as lame as '90s Kenny Rogers
They took Game 1 right from the Cards, the Cards then took two more
Before the Mets could plate a dozen runners in Game Four
With Glavine on just three days rest, Game 5 would be a battle
But rains came down, and down, and down (the field looked like Seattle)
Game 1 saw Glavine pitch a gem, Tom looked like vintage Seaver
But Game 5 would be different as he couldn't outpitch Weaver
Perhaps with too much rest, the bats dozed off and lost Game 5.
Though the next day they woke up and took Game 6 to stay alive.
The Mets now had a chance to win, a chance at baseball heaven
To face the Tigers in Detroit (if they could win Game 7
The Cards threw Suppan, easy choice, but on the other hand
The Mets rotation held with packing tape and rubber bands
Perez went for the Metsies, he'd won three and lost 13
His 6-5-5 earned runs per game, the highest baseball's seen
Perhaps he had adrenaline, or did it just because
Perhaps he had amnesia and forgot just who he was
With hopes and dreams of fans and all his teammates on the line
Whatever spurred on Oliver; Perez? He pitched just fine.
When Ollie left the mound and gave his manager the ball
The seventh game was knotted up, the score was still 1-all
Two Cardinal runs erased when Chavez flew like he was Wendy
His leaping catch insured that inning six came to an Endy
And tied it stood in inning nine, a Heilman strike-palooza
Their bats, his balls got on as well as Rolen and La Russa
But then a sudden silence fell across the Shea arena
The tie was gone; a two run blast by Yadier Molina.
Was this the end? Could this be it? Were World Champ dreams now crushed?
The Amazins mazed? The Mets been Met? The boys from Flushing, flushed?
With three outs left, could they still find a weakness to explot?
The one rare time the promised land could be known as "Detroit"?
Jose led off the ninth -- a hit! And Endy echoed hit!
But Cliff limped off the field with called strike three now in the mitt
And Reyes didn't fare so well, now two out and two on
With all the hopes of coming back to win now all but gone
But wait, Lo Duca walked! Potential winning run! Crowd roaring!
(I'm not the first to notice that man's excellent at scoring)
The bases juiced, but two men out -- It's not exactly easy
But if anyone could bring them home, his name's Carlos Beltreezie
You could hear it in the stands and you could hear it in the booth
In October vs the Cardinals, Beltran may as well be Ruth.
Like picking up an ace of spades with four kings in your hand
Unless a royal flush comes up, we go to Disneyland
The Hall of Science, Tennis Center, Unisphere are dark
No Botanics in the Garden, and no Terrace on the Park
In St. Louis, men are laughing. In Detroit, the children shout,
But there is no joy in Flushing -- mighty Carlos soon struck out.
Yet this isn't where the story ends, not even close or near
Like the Dodgers did before them, now the Mets wait til next year
If the Cards were hurt, and not the Mets, we'd be 1969ing.
They'd be back home in Missouri, hearing more of Albert's whining.
I will say it here in print and I will say it next aloud
The Mets battled, scraped, and fought, and played, and lost -- and made me proud.
With a healthy staff and confidence, they'll wrestle for a ring
Two-thousand-six was fun, Two-thousand-seven starts this spring.